Written
by Anum
Hussain
7
Habits of Highly Effective People Summary
The
7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey is a
self-improvement book. It is written on Covey's belief that the way
we see the world is entirely based on our own perceptions. In order
to change a given situation, we must change ourselves, and in order
to change ourselves, we must be able to change our perceptions.
We
all want to succeed. And one path to success is identifying the
habits that can help us on our journey.
I
recommend starting that path by reading Stephen Covey's best-selling
book, The
7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
Don't have time to read all 432 pages?
I
get it -- most of us don't. That's why we summarized the entire book
for you below.
7
Habits of Highly Effective People
Be
Proactive
Begin
with the End in Mind
Put
First Things First
Think
Win-Win
Seek
First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Synergize
Sharpen
the Saw
What
habits do highly effective people have?
The
book opens with an explanation of how many individuals who have
achieved a high degree of outward success still find themselves
struggling with an inner need for developing personal effectiveness
and growing healthy relationships with other people.
Covey
believes the way we see the world is entirely based on our own
perceptions. In order to change a given situation, we must change
ourselves, and in order to change ourselves, we must be able to
change our perceptions.
In
studying over 200 years of literature on the concept of "success,"
Covey identified a very important change in the way that humans have
defined success over time.
In
earlier times, the foundation of success rested upon character ethic
(things like integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage,
justice, patience, industry, simplicity, modesty, and the Golden
Rule). But starting around the 1920s, the way people viewed success
shifted to what Covey calls "personality ethic" (where
success is a function of personality, public image, attitudes, and
behaviors).
These
days, people look for quick fixes. They see a successful person,
team, or organization and ask, "How
do you do it? Teach me your techniques!" But
these "shortcuts" that we look for, hoping to save time and
effort and still achieve the desired result, are simply band-aids
that will yield short-term solutions. They don't address the
underlying condition.
"The
way we see the problem is the problem," Covey writes. We must
allow ourselves to undergo paradigm shifts -- to change ourselves
fundamentally and not just alter our attitudes and behaviors on the
surface level -- in order to achieve true change.
That's
where the seven habits of highly effective people come in:
Habits
1, 2, and 3 are focused on self-mastery and moving from dependence
to independence.
Habits
4, 5, and 6 are focused on developing teamwork, collaboration, and
communication skills, and moving from independence to
interdependence.
Habit
7 is focused on continuous growth and improvement and embodies all
the other habits.
1.
Be Proactive
Quick
Summary:
We're
in charge. We choose the scripts by which to live our lives. Use this
self-awareness to be proactive and take responsibility for your
choices.
The
first habit that Covey discusses is being proactive. What
distinguishes us as humans from all other animals is our inherent
ability to examine our own character, to decide how to view ourselves
and our situations, and to control our own effectiveness.
Put
simply, in order to be effective one must be proactive.
Reactive
people take a passive stance -- they believe the world is happening
to them. They say things like:
They
think the problem is "out there" -- but that thought is the
problem. Reactivity becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and reactive
people feel increasingly victimized and out of control.
Proactive
people, however, recognize they have responsibility -- or
"response-ability," which Covey defines as the ability to
choose how you will respond to a given stimulus or situation.
In
order to be proactive, we must focus on the Circle of Influence that
lies within our Circle of Concern-- in other words, we must work on
the things we can do something about.
The
positive energy we exert will cause our Circle of Influence to
expand.
Reactive
people, on the other hand, focus on things that are in their Circle
of Concern but not in their Circle of Influence, which leads to
blaming external factors, emanating negative energy, and causing
their Circle of Influence to shrink.
Key
Lessons:
Challenge
yourself to test the principle of proactivity by doing the following:
1. Start
replacing reactive language with proactive language.
Reactive = "He
makes me so mad."
Proactive = "I
control my own feelings."
2. Convert
reactive tasks into proactive ones.
2.
Begin with the End in Mind
Quick
Summary:
Start
with a clear destination in mind. Covey says we can use our
imagination to develop a vision of what we want to become and use our
conscience to decide what values will guide us.
Most
of us find it rather easy to busy ourselves. We work hard to achieve
victories -- promotions, higher income, more recognition. But we
don't often stop to evaluate the meaning behind this busyness, behind
these victories -- we don't ask ourselves if these things that we
focus on so intently are what really matter to us.
Habit
2 suggests that, in everything we do, we should begin with the end in
mind. Start with a clear destination. That way, we can make sure the
steps we're taking are in the right direction.
Covey
emphasizes that our self-awareness empowers us to shape our own
lives, instead of living our lives by default or based on the
standards or preferences of others.
Beginning
with the end in mind is also extremely important for businesses.
Being a manager is about optimizing for efficiency. But being a
leader is about setting the right strategic vision for your
organization in the first place, and asking, "What
are we trying to accomplish?"
Before
we as individuals or organizations can start setting and achieving
goals, we must be able to identify our values. This process may
involve some rescripting to be able to assert our own personal
values.
Rescripting,
Covey explains, is recognizing ineffective scripts that have been
written for you, and changing those scripts by proactively writing
new ones that are built of your own values.
It
is also important to identify our center. Whatever is at the center
of our life will be the source of our security, guidance, wisdom, and
power.
Our
centers affect us fundamentally -- they determine our daily
decisions, actions, and motivations, as well as our interpretation of
events.
In
order to be proactive, we must focus on the Circle of Influence that
lies within our Circle of Concern-- in other words, we must work on
the things we can do something about.
The
positive energy we exert will cause our Circle of Influence to
expand.
Reactive
people, on the other hand, focus on things that are in their Circle
of Concern but not in their Circle of Influence, which leads to
blaming external factors, emanating negative energy, and causing
their Circle of Influence to shrink.
Key
Lessons:
Challenge
yourself to test the principle of proactivity by doing the following:
1. Start
replacing reactive language with proactive language.
Reactive = "He
makes me so mad."
Proactive = "I
control my own feelings."
2. Convert
reactive tasks into proactive ones.
2.
Begin with the End in Mind
Quick
Summary:
Start
with a clear destination in mind. Covey says we can use our
imagination to develop a vision of what we want to become and use our
conscience to decide what values will guide us.
Most
of us find it rather easy to busy ourselves. We work hard to achieve
victories -- promotions, higher income, more recognition. But we
don't often stop to evaluate the meaning behind this busyness, behind
these victories -- we don't ask ourselves if these things that we
focus on so intently are what really matter to us.
Habit
2 suggests that, in everything we do, we should begin with the end in
mind. Start with a clear destination. That way, we can make sure the
steps we're taking are in the right direction.
Covey
emphasizes that our self-awareness empowers us to shape our own
lives, instead of living our lives by default or based on the
standards or preferences of others.
Beginning
with the end in mind is also extremely important for businesses.
Being a manager is about optimizing for efficiency. But being a
leader is about setting the right strategic vision for your
organization in the first place, and asking, "What
are we trying to accomplish?"
Before
we as individuals or organizations can start setting and achieving
goals, we must be able to identify our values. This process may
involve some rescripting to be able to assert our own personal
values.
Rescripting,
Covey explains, is recognizing ineffective scripts that have been
written for you, and changing those scripts by proactively writing
new ones that are built of your own values.
It
is also important to identify our center. Whatever is at the center
of our life will be the source of our security, guidance, wisdom, and
power.
Our
centers affect us fundamentally -- they determine our daily
decisions, actions, and motivations, as well as our interpretation of
events.
"To
go for Win-Win, you not only have to be nice, you have to be
courageous." -Stephen
Covey
Another
important factor in solving for Win-Win situations is maintaining
an Abundance
Mentality,
or the belief that there's plenty out there for everyone.
Most
people operate with the Scarcity
Mentality --
meaning they act as though everything is zero-sum (in other words, if
you get it, I don't). People with the Scarcity Mentality have a very
hard time sharing recognition or credit and find it difficult to be
genuinely happy about other people's successes.
When
it comes to interpersonal leadership, the more genuine our character
is, the higher our level of proactivity; the more committed we are to
Win-Win, the more powerful our influence will be.
To
achieve Win-Win, keep the focus on results, not methods; on problems,
not people.
Lastly,
the spirit of Win-Win can't survive in an environment of competition.
As an organization, we need to align our reward system with our goals
and values and have the systems in place to support Win-Win.
Key
Lessons:
Get
yourself to start thinking Win-Win with these challenges:
1.
Think about an upcoming interaction where
you'll be attempting to reach an agreement or solution. Write down a
list of what the other person is looking for. Next, write a list next
to that of how you can make an offer to meet those needs.
2.
Identify three important relationships in your life. Think
about what you feel the balance is in each of those relationships. Do
you give more than you take? Take more than you give? Write down 10
ways to always give more than you take with each one.
3.
Deeply consider your own interaction tendencies. Are
they Win-Lose? How does that affect your interactions with others?
Can you identify the source of that approach? Determine whether or
not this approach serves you well in your relationships. Write all of
this down.
Email
is one place we all quickly build poor habits. Rather than wasting
time by copying and pasting email templates that you use every day,
we recommend using HubSpot's
free CRM to
easily send personalized email templates in Gmail and Outlook.
5.
Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Quick
Summary:
Before
we can offer advice, suggest solutions, or effectively interact with
another person in any way, we must seek to deeply understand them and
their perspective through empathic listening.
Let's
say you go to an optometrist and tell him that you've been having
trouble seeing clearly, and he takes off his glasses, hands them to
you and says, "Here,
try these -- they've been working for me for years!" You
put them on, but they only make the problem worse. What are the
chances you'd go back to that optometrist?
Unfortunately,
we do the same thing in our everyday interactions with others. We
prescribe a solution before we diagnose the problem. We don't seek to
deeply understand the problem first.
Habit
5 says that we must seek first to understand, then to be understood.
In order to seek to understand, we must learn to listen.
We
can't simply use one technique to understand someone. In fact, if a
person senses that we're manipulating her, she will question our
motives and will no longer feel safe opening up to us.
"You
have to build the skills of empathic listening on a base of character
that inspires openness and trust." -Stephen
Covey
To
listen empathically requires a fundamental paradigm shift. We
typically seek first to be understood. Most people listen with the
intent to reply,
not to understand.
At any given moment, they're either speaking or preparing to speak.
After
all, Covey points out, communication experts estimate that:
10%
of our communication is represented by our words
30%
is represented by our sounds
60%
is represented by our body language
When
we listen autobiographically -- in other words, with our own
perspective as our frame of reference -- we tend to respond in one of
four ways:
1.
Evaluate: Agree
or disagree with what is said
2.
Probe: Ask
questions from our own frame of reference
3.
Advise: Give
counsel based on our own experience
4.
Interpret: Try
to figure out the person's motives and behavior based on our own
motives and behavior
But
if we replace these types of response with empathic listening, we see
dramatic results in improved communication. It takes time to make
this shift, but it doesn't take nearly as long to practice
empathic listening as
it does to back up and correct misunderstandings, or to live with
unexpressed and unresolved problems only to have them surface later
on.
The
second part of Habit 5 is " ... then to be understood."
This is equally critical in achieving Win-Win solutions.
When
we're able to present our ideas clearly, and in the context of a deep
understanding of the other person's needs and concerns, we
significantly increase the credibility of your ideas.
Key
Lessons:
Here
are a few ways to get yourself in the habit of seeking first to
understand:
1. Next
time you're watching two people communicating, cover your ears and
watch. What
emotions are being communicated that might not come across through
words alone? Was one person or the other more interested in the
conversation? Write down what you noticed.
2. Next
time you give a presentation, root it in empathy. Begin
by describing the audience's point of view in great detail. What
problems are they facing? How is what you're about to say offering a
solution to their problems?
6.
Synergize
Quick
Summary:
By
understanding and valuing the differences in another person's
perspective, we have the opportunity to create synergy, which allows
us to uncover new possibilities through openness and creativity.
The
combination of all the other habits prepares us for Habit 6, which is
the habit of synergy or "When one plus one equals three or more
and the whole is great than the sum of its parts."
For
example, if you plant two plants close together, their roots will
co-mingle and improve the quality of the soil, so that both plants
will grow better than they would on their own.
Synergy allows
us to create new alternatives and open new possibilities. It allows
us as a group to collectively agree to ditch the old scripts and
write new ones.
"Without
doubt, you have to leave the comfort zone of base camp and confront
an entirely new and unknown wilderness." -Stephen
Covey
So
how can we introduce synergy to a given situation or environment?
Start with habits 4 and 5 -- you must think Win-Win and seek first to
understand.
Once
you have these in mind, you can pool your desires with those of the
other person or group. And then you're not on opposite sides of the
problem -- you're together on one side, looking at the problem,
understanding all the needs, and working to create a third
alternative that will meet them.
What
we end up with is not a transaction, but a transformation. Both sides
get what they want, and they build their relationship in the process.
By
putting forth a spirit of trust and safety, we will prompt others to
become extremely open and feed on each other's insights and ideas,
creating synergy.
The
real essence of synergy is valuing the differences -- the mental,
emotional, and psychological differences between people.
After
all, if two people have the same opinion, one is unnecessary. When we
become aware of someone's different perspective, we can say, "Good!
You see it differently! Help me see what you see."
We
seek first to understand, and then we find strength and utility in
those different perspectives in order to create new possibilities and
Win-Win results.
Synergy
allows you to:
Value
the differences in other people as a way to expand your perspective
Sidestep
negative energy and look for the good in others
Exercise
courage in interdependent situations to be open and encourage others
to be open
Catalyze
creativity and find a solution that will be better for everyone by
looking for a third alternative
Key
Lessons:
1. Make
a list of people who irritate you. Now
choose just one person. How are their views different? Put yourself
in their shoes for one minute. Think and pretend how it feels to be
them. Does this help you understand them better?
Now
next time you're in a disagreement with that person, try to
understand their concerns and why they disagree with you. The better
you can understand them, the easier it will be to change their mind
-- or change yours.
2.
Make a list of people with whom you get along well. Now
choose just one person. How are their views different? Now write down
a situation where you had excellent teamwork and synergy. Why? What
conditions were met to reach such fluidity in your interactions? How
can you recreate those conditions again?
7.
Sharpen the Saw
Quick
Summary:
To
be effective, we must devote the time to renewing ourselves
physically, spiritually, mentally, and socially. Continuous renewal
allows us to synergistically increase our ability to practice each
habit.
Habit
7 is focused around renewal, or taking time to "sharpen
the saw."
It surrounds all of the other habits and makes each one possible by
preserving and enhancing your greatest asset -- yourself.
There
are four dimensions of our nature, and each must be exercised
regularly, and in balanced ways:
Physical
Dimension: The
goal of continuous physical improvement is to exercise our body in a
way that will enhance our capacity to work, adapt, and enjoy.
To
renew ourselves physically, we must:
Eat
well
Get
sufficient rest and relaxation
Exercise
on a regular basis to build endurance, flexibility, and strength
Focusing
on the physical dimension helps develop Habit 1 muscles of
proactivity. We act based on the value of well-being instead of
reacting to the forces that keep us from fitness.
Spiritual
Dimension: The
goal of renewing our spiritual self is to provide leadership to our
life and reinforce your commitment to our value system.
To
renew yourself spiritually, you can:
A
focus on our spiritual dimension helps us practice Habit 2, as we
continuously revise and commit ourselves to our values, so we can
begin with the end in mind.
Mental
Dimension: The
goal of renewing our mental health is to continue expanding our mind.
To
renew yourself mentally, you can:
Read
good literature
Keep
a journal of your thoughts, experiences, and insights
Limit
television watching to only those programs that enrich your life and
mind
Focusing
on our mental dimension helps us practice Habit 3 by managing
ourselves effectively to maximize the use of our time and resources.
Social/Emotional
Dimension: The
goal of renewing ourselves socially is to develop meaningful
relationships.
To
renew yourself emotionally, you can:
Seek
to deeply understand other people
Make
contributions to meaningful projects that improve the lives of
others
Maintain
an Abundance Mentality, and seek to help others find success
Renewing
our social and emotional dimension helps us practice Habits 4, 5, and
6 by recognizing that Win-Win solutions do exist, seeking to
understand others, and finding mutually beneficial third alternatives
through synergy.
"Not
a day goes by that we can't at least serve one other human being by
making deposits of unconditional love." -Stephen
Covey
As
we focus on renewing ourselves along these four dimensions, we must
also seek to be a positive scripter for other people. We must look to
inspire others to a higher path by showing them we believe in them,
by listening to them empathically, by encouraging them to be
proactive.
The
real beauty of the 7 Habits is that improvement in one habit
synergistically increases our ability to improve the rest.
Renewal
is the process that empowers us to move along an upward spiral of
growth and change, of continuous improvement.
Key
Lessons:
1. Make
a list of activities that would help you renew yourself along
each of the 4 dimensions. Select one activity for each dimension and
list it as a goal for the coming week. At the end of the week,
evaluate your performance. What led you to succeed or fail to
accomplish each goal?
2. Commit
to writing down a specific "sharpen the saw" activity in
all four dimensions every week, to do them, and to evaluate your
performance and results.
Originally
published Jul 8, 2019 8:13:00 PM, updated June 04 2019
Article source: https://blog.hubspot.com/sales/habits-of-highly-effective-people-summary
